


The Irony

by favefangirl



Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angel!Alec, Demon!Magnus, Goodbyes, Inspired by Fanart, M/M, Malec, Poetry, Religious Imagery & Symbolism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 20:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12307107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/favefangirl/pseuds/favefangirl
Summary: Magnus had always been a realist and he knew that staying with Alec had never been a possibility, despite all his hopes and desires. He was being recalled, as were all of Hell's soldiers, and Magnus could never resist the call of his father. The war to end all wars - the Great War, the Unholy War, the Final War - was approaching and he and Alec would always be on opposite sides





	The Irony

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/ATR-yeRdWQMBV_lX-0FjR3IvQwxQSkIcOOFUA0b17LRV-OsPJQA_vUY/) incredible fanart.
> 
> This is slightly more angsty, but hey, that's life isn't it.

Alec's breathing was laboured. The scent of salt from his tears was pungent in the air. His shoulders shook with the force of his sobs. There was something to be said for one of God's chosen few weeping over the son of one of Lucifer's princes. Blunt nails dug into Magnus' shoulders as though Alec was using his slim frame to keep himself grounded. Magnus wondered if this pain was what redemption felt like - he knew he could never know for sure.

"Don't leave," Alec begged into Magnus' neck, the words muffled by the juncture where it met his shoulder.

Magnus cradled Alec's head, shorts strands of Alec's dark hair tickling between his fingers. Part of Magnus, a large part - nearly all - never wanted to let go. He wanted to stand forever with Alec, above the steep drop down into hell, eyes shut tightly against the blindingly bright light of Alec's soft feathered wings. The chasm was dark, but Alec was the brightest thing in the universe.

But Magnus had always been a realist and he knew that staying with Alec had never been a possibility, despite all his hopes and desires. He was being recalled, as were all of Hell's soldiers, and Magnus could never resist the call of his father. The war to end all wars - the Great War, the Unholy War, the Final War - was approaching and he and Alec would always be on opposite sides.

"I must, my love," Magnus replied through his own steady stream of tears. Demon tears were rare and valuable as Silver, but he considered neither of these things as he cried into Alec's hair. "We both have our duties."

"To hell with my duties!" Alec pulled away, his voice echoing, the passion evident in each reverberation. Magnus almost laughed at the irony but laughter was a perpetual stranger to goodbyes.

"I will miss you as one misses oxygen," Magnus recited in the most soothing voice he could, "as one misses the sun by day, as one misses the bird song and the lullaby of the trees, as one misses the rising in the East."

Magnus was not a liar, usually, but in this case he would make an exception. In reality he would miss Alec as a blind man misses sight - something important ripped away from him, his entire way of life altered, the world a darker place. He would miss Alec as life misses the rain, all else fails to work with its absence as though it is the sustenance of all things. He would miss Alec as a saint misses his soul (and a sinner wishes he had one), as though everything he lived for was suddenly gone in the blink of an eye.

"I love you," Alec confessed. It was not for the first time.

"And I you," Magus replied, stroking Alec's hair from out of his face.

"Say it for me." Alec's eyes were wide and pleading. "Just this once, please, say it for me!"

"I love you, Alexander, with everything I could wish to be." Magnus cupped Alec's jaw as though it was something precious and delicate. "I love you more than I should ever have been able to love anything. My love for you knows no bounds, not even the distance from heaven and hell."

Asmodeus' pull grew stronger the longer Magnus stood at the edge of his father's realm, and he knew his time was growing short. There was so much he wished to say before he parted, and so few words that could ever capture the intensity with which he loved the Angel in front of him. In the beginning Alec had been _his_ angel, but he'd learned over time that God was the only thing to ever exist that was worthy of any claim over Alec.

Magnus hated that there was never any good in goodbye. He hated that God had bottled the bluest oceans inside Alec's eyes, hated that his own were leaking with a steady and insistent stream of tears. There was no poetry left to capture the moment because no one had ever felt heartache this strong before, Magnus was sure of it. Only the silence remained in the space between them.

"How do I love thee, let me count the ways. To the depth and breadth and height of my soul," Alec whispered. Or perhaps he shouted, it was impossible for Magnus to tell over the roar of the chasm below.

"If I'm to die," Magnus said hurriedly, praying (even though he knew he would receive no answer) for just enough time even though there was never enough, "know my last thoughts will be of you, the brightest star in the sky, my Angel."

Magnus tore himself from Alec's grip, ran and leaped over the railing. He fell down... down... down... Into the depths of the chasm below he continued to plummet. He could hear Alec crying out his name from above, but it was dull noise in his ears as he fell quickly further and further and further down. The air whipped through his leather wings as he fell. His back was to the darkness below him but he still couldn't see Alexander above, it was too dark and the angle was all wrong and his vision was blurred with the speed of his fall.

"I would love you," Magnus whispered despite the air being torn from his lungs. "If I could, I would love you."

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've really written in a while, and I forgot how much I enjoy it. 
> 
> It's my birthday in precisely three hours and I'm a lil giddy about it so excuse any mistakes - I'm too excited to properly proof-read but if you let me know I'll correct them right away.
> 
> Comments and kudos are much appreciated!
> 
> If you want to message me my Instagram is @Favefangirl and my Tumblr is [nebulous--bounds](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nebulous--bounds) I'm more than happy to answer any questions, maybe fill any prompts or just generally converse with you lovely people. Be sure to follow me, too, if you want! I'm mostly multi-fan and I blog a lot about writing (especially on Tumblr). You can also follow me on Pinterest [here](https://www.pinterest.co.uk/Favefangirl/).
> 
> I may continue this at some point and make it into a multi-chap thing, but I have so many WIPs right now it's unreal!
> 
> Thanks for reading, have a great day!


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